Never knew I needed

For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I had
of everything that I wanted to have
and made me see there was something missing
For the ending of my first begin *ad-libs*
(And) For the rare and unexpected friend *ad-libs*
For the way you're something that I'd never choose
But at the same time, something I don't wanna lose
and never wanna be without ever again
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
When you walked here
I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it's so clear
I need you here, always
My accidental happily (ever after)
The way you smile and how you comfort me (with your laughter)
I must admit you were not apart of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
When you walked here
I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it's so clear
I need you here, always
Who knew that I could be (Who knew that I could be)
So unexpectedly (So unexpectedly)
Undeniably happy (Yeah)
With you right here, right here next to me
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
When you walked here
I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it's so clear
I need you here, always¡­
now it's so clear
I need you here, always




***************************************************
I am waiting for the accidentally happy ever after.

invisible

Sometimes, when we feel this way, we tend to overlook something that is beyond it
Some feelings might be overlooked, or might just not given a damn
for those people who are always overlooked, if you show them some care, notice something that most of the people do not notice, their happiness result of this is beyond your imagination.
They will appreciate a lot and be thankful about it.
So, just notice the invisible, and give them some care and you might just brighten their day so easily.
But I know, easier said than done. haha

One day

If one day, I meet him, I believe I will change to a better woman for him. 

I am grateful

If I had chosen to study in Singapore, either NUS or NTU, I would not have met those wonderful people who are like angels to me.
I would not have grown so much and appreciate things that I never bother to care.
I would not have turned into who I am now (even though I don't know I am turning into a better or worse person ;) haha )
So, even though my future might not really as shine as it would be if I have chosen the alternative path, I think I have gained so much more in other aspects that I shouldn't even think of whether I made a right choice or not.
The things that have changed are invisible, but so obvious that I can feel it.
I am grateful that I am here, meeting great friends and lecturers and encountered what I have encountered.
I am grateful that I went through two internships in Big 4, even though now I think I should have gone for holiday instead of internship ;).
I am grateful that I came here, from TBS to Backside campus.
I am grateful for everything because I think they change me to a better person.
And I am grateful to everyone who ever touched my soul, guided me, taught me and told me a lot of things that my old friends never told me and made an impact on my life.
I guess, this is a right decision =)

Thank you =)

There is always a feeling of loneliness when I am in Subang, especially at the night in a small room that you can't even call it a home.
But having friends always make it less lonely.
Hereby I express my gratitude to some friends who chatted with me or skyped with me in this week and significantly improved my mood.
Mr Bak - who always msn me whenever I changed my pm, tell me his story which make me feel needed, listen to me when I am down, give me advice and tell me tomorrow everyone will smile again.
Dragonfly - who I lose contact with for almost 2 years. always have endless things to talk to her even though we are not BFF to each other. I like her spirit, her truthfulness and her optimism.
Harry Teo - the one who skyped with me. who told me his love story. who never scolded me no matter how mean I am to him. and always be there for me when I am emo. Hei gong gong dong hua hou hou ting. haha
he really speaks like hongkkie. haha

Thanks for brightening my usually lonely nights. You made my life here much better than I used to have =)
Love ya.

Taylor's Swift - A place in this world

I don't know what I want
so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road
I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do
I'm alone, on my own
and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong
oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl
trying to find a place in
This world
Got the radio on
my old blue jeans
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Feeling lucky today
got the sunshine
Could you tell me what more do I need
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah
But that's ok
I'm alone, on my own
and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong
oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl
trying to find a place in
This world
Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
But I'm ready to fly
I'm alone, on my own
and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong
oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl
trying to find a place in
This world
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl

Please

When you feel that you are losing everything that you have, what should you do?
Seriously I do not know what to do.
I need somebody to assure me that everything will be okay, convince me that I am not losing them.
Can you do so?

If I am contented

I feel that I am contented and happy for what I currently have
but if I am contended, this happiness should be able to last, I should be happy at most of the times
However, I am not
So, what does this mean?

Quote

How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.
-- Frodo, in The Return of the King

The worst feeling

I hate fear.
I hate lonely.
But for me they are not the worst feeling.
Because I can get over fear as long as I try the things I am scared of.
And I can stop being lonely by  hanging out with friends.
But there is a feeling that I can't shake away and it will come back to me again and again.
It is EMPTINESS.
The emptiness usually engulfs me at night time.
Even though there is a person beside me, I can still feel it.
Sometimes it is strong enough to affect what I am doing; sometimes it is weak that I can just kick it away by trying to be distracted.
But it never goes away entirely, never.
Even I might be able to get away from it today, it doesn't mean I can do so tomorrow.
This is the worst feeling.
But the worst things is, the feeling of loneliness usually comes behind it; and when the times come, it is hard to get rid of both of them.

sometimes I was wondering

It is 11.15pm.
I am supposed to be on the bed now because I promised myself to sleep early.
But I feel like writing this.

It has been some times that I have been wondering about I have made a wrong decision which I should regret.
Should I have chosen NUS instead of Taylor's, a university college that has no ranking, and the ranking of the twinning college is significantly lower than the former.
There are two months away from my graduation.
Two months to 3/7, the last day of our exam.
It is just the freaking short 61 days.
What have I achieve in these 3 years.
Become increasingly moody?
More independent?
Higher EQ?
Got to know more friends?
Gained enough knowledge to prepare me to become one of the member of the workforce?
There are a lot to wonder. To feel. To fathom. To consider whether I have made the right choice.
And until now I still can't tell whether I made a wrong decision or not.
Most of the time I will confidently justify my choice of coming here.
But there is some times that I am wondering on my own, asking myself is it really justifiable.
But I guess they are not important anymore, since I had already made the choice, proceed and turn into who I am now.
I ... am ... just ... thinking ... too ... much.
haha.
Good night =)

Don't take me for granted

Saw this in somebody's blog which I accidentally click into.


"Don't take me for granted because I am not scared to walk out of your life. " (Rebby 2010)



When you are down you need a listener.
When I feel like a crap I hope that you volunteer to be there also.

Perfect =)

Sometimes, some things are so beautiful that you cannot resist them.
They just seem so perfect to you.

Cupido and Cupipi from dooodools

Sony Ericsson Aino

It will be PERFECT if I can have them =)

sincerity

When the trust collapsed, how can I build it up again?

How even when I can't sense your sincerity, not at all.

You never tried to reassure me.

Seldom be there when I need you most.

When relationship is not reciprocal, the couple will normally end up breaking up.
How about friendship?
I feel like a fool when I think that you just can't care about yourself a little bit less and care about me a little bit more.
Sorry if I do not know what I mean to you.
Because your action doesn't look consistent with what you have been telling me.
I am confused so I need times to get over it. 

I am back =)

It has been so long after I stopped writing here.
Almost 1 and a half year I guess.

But the slow-responsive wretch irritates me and made me think of here.

I guess I am back.

Will post more when I have the feel to write something =)